Ode to a Nose

It has been cold lately - a cold storm actually just blew in and out over the past couple of days and for a while there, my body has been thinking it's Christmas and I had better get my chores done.

Weather changes usually affect me only to the point where I have to pull out my sweaters/tank tops and put away my tank tops/sweaters. But when it's 90 degrees one week and 72 the next, something happens to Rick's nose. It gets clogged up and/or drippy and he gets whiney, irritable, and quietly grumpy.

Every night this week, there has been snuffling, sneezing, flopping, groaning, snorting, and other sorts of noises coming from his side of the bed. Noises and movements that one can't just sleep through. Noises and movements that actually wakes one up multiple times in the night. Because we don't have a tempur-pedic, and nope, those spring mattresses don't absorb any sort of jumping movements, but rather spreads them evenly. Like an earthquake.

When whispered: "Do you want Nyquil?"

No answer. *snuffle*

"Do you want Vaporub?"

Head shake. Grunt.

"Do you want your nasal spray?"

"I already used it." WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

Nights (and days, to think of it) are difficult when Rick's sinuses are acting up. He's got a big nose and big nostrils, but when his sinuses act up, he says it's like someone's squeezing his nosebridge and air can't get through. And nothing he takes helps it, even the sinus medicine.

So what to do? Endure the elbows in my face, the knees in my back, the wheezing and hard breathing from the mouth, the kicking of the blankets, the flopping around (seriously, i think there's a seal in my bed), the banging of the medicine cabinet in the middle of the night, and the sorrowful *SIGH*s that come from this poor man who can't breathe with his nose.

Who knew that a simple body part, such as cartilage, could cause this much trouble?? Like it was trying to say, "Oh yeah, you think I'm just here to smell things, huh? You think that I can just filter out all that pollution and give it back to you in booger form without me having to work at it, eh? So you're just going to take me for granted???!! Well... I'm going on STRIKE!!"

To appease the nose, I've written up this "Ode to a Nose." (not a proper ode, mind you, really just a poem off the top of my head, but "ode"ing it makes it seem more poetic):

Oh Nose, how wonderful you are!
You oderous, odoriferous, Odorific thing!
You smell, you flare, you wiggle!
Breath would not be the same without you.
Food would not taste the same.
I love how your shape changes if I force you.
I love how you leak when extra fluids are retained.
I love how you get cross and throw germs out of your house.
Please, do not be angered.
I was insensitive to your needs.
Please, open up and let the air flow through,
Oh sweet gate of breath!

Okay so that was lame. But I bet it made someone laugh.