I’m blogging this lovely Sunday morning because after yesterday’s ordeal, I’m a mix of emotions: anger, frustration, futility, resentment, sadness. At least for once I’m not having an identity crisis.
Ah-Gong’s funeral was yesterday. I spent the day not thinking about it, Rick and I ran errands in the morning, and I took an hour and a half to get ready. Upon arriving at the funeral site with my sister and brother-in-law, I greeted my father and other relatives at the door of the chapel. I wasn’t nervous; rather, confident, because I was looking good and I guess had the intention of looking like the 27-year-old woman that I am to people I hadn’t seen in over 10 years. It was almost like a high school reunion where you show up looking like you’re accepting an award, and people look at you and marvel at how much you’ve changed since high school when you were a dumpy nerd with knobby knees. It didn’t work in my favor yesterday that I look very much like my mother.
The service was interesting. I’d somehow forgotten that, duh, the whole thing would be in Chinese, and surprisingly, I understood about 80% of it all. Go me. Although I wished I hadn’t understood that much. What was said wasn’t all that nice, a little self-indulgent on the ministers’ parts (of course, touting that this was God’s message and Ah-Gong was a saint), and very over-the-top preachery in a loud and dramatic way. I remembered why I never liked Chinese church, and especially why I stopped going to Chinese church in the first place. These people are pieces of work. I wondered if I was in a cult.
Grandma asked us to be in the receiving line after the service, and everything happened so fast and it’s not like we had rehearsed this, so off we went to stand there and shake people’s hands. Our father had told my sister that we could wait outside, but I didn’t know that was an option. We greeted about 100 people, about 10 of them I vaguely remember from my repressed childhood memories. 80 of the people were over 70 years old and gray-haired, and while they spoke my name, and I just smiled at them, I thought, Who the hell ARE you??
Going into this, I had intentions of being polite. I was going to be respectful and friendly because funerals aren’t really the time to be angry and slit-eyed and rehash old grudges. Too bad other people didn't come in with the same intentions. How naïve I was to think that by being open I could change perceptions. People, people that I didn’t even know or remember, thought it was in their Godly duty to take this opportunity to voice their opinions to my sister and me. There was even one of my dad’s cousins that I recognized who had been like an aunt and whom I had fond memories of, who now glared at me with disapproval and a jaw-clenched, puffy-cheeked frown (and of course, no greeting. What!? Do I owe you money or something?). We were told things like, “Let the past be the past,” and “You should have visited your grandfather more; he talked about you often, I expect to see you more at Grandma’s house from now on” and “He loved his sons very much; he loved his grandsons very much.” Period. Okay, then...
Three things boggle my mind:
1) Why are we the ones getting lectured and being told to forget the past? We are the products of divorce and all the adults involved (parents and grandparents) mishandled the situation, and continue to do so. We react to the lack of parenting and grandparenting involved. By that I mean lack of role models. If anyone should get a talking-to, it should be my father for his continuing indiscretions. My sister and I just look at each other and are confused when people approach us with this comment. Who’s not forgotten? We’ve gone on with OUR lives, get on with yours and OUT of OUR past!!! WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! And it’s none of your business anyway what goes on between me and my father! They turned a possibly innocuous re-meeting very ugly with unnecessary words. (Coincidentally, this is how my grandfather behaved.)
2) If someone hits you, doesn’t apologize, you’re supposed to forgive him. If they continue to hurt you, still don’t apologize, don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, you are still supposed to “forgive and forget.” Hmm. Do I have “walk on me” written across my forehead? Or am I just worth less than the one who’s hurting me? Do we tell this to victims of domestic violence? Do we teach our children this concept? If a child is getting beat up on the playground, do we say to him, “oh, just let the bully hit you, you need to forgive him for being mean.” Or do we pull the bully aside, talk to him, make him apologize and try to get him to see that what he was doing is wrong? The reason I bring this up is because my father and my grandfather have hurt me very much with their words and actions. Although I am an adult now, our relationships have been frozen in time; being the CHILD in all of these relationships, I don’t believe that it’s right to blame us for anything that ADULTS do or don’t do, especially divorce. My father and grandfather hurt me, so I made my feelings very clear, and left the environment. They did not apologize, or change to accommodate me in their lives, so I did not go back. How is this wrong? Just because they’re my elders I’m supposed to take the abuse? Every time I try to reconcile, let down my walls so we can start anew, one of the men manages to f*ck it up with the same words and actions, and I’m left hurt again. Why is this MY fault? Yet, I left the funeral yesterday with a heavy load of outsider judgments on my shoulders. There’s nothing like feeling misunderstood for 10+ years. I felt mentally and physically impaired and frustrated.
3) There are some people who don’t believe in divorce and take it to the extreme where the products of a failed marriage are somehow associated with it. So to some people, I guess my sister and I are bastard children who shouldn’t deserve to live, despite that for the first 14 years of my life I was an accepted individual human being who was allowed to play with their kids. Okay, then. Nice to have known you. I'll just go die quietly in the corner. (of course, the man who acted this way turns out to be a well-respected pastor)
So this is what’s REALLY going on: my sister and I stopped speaking to our father over 10 years ago. Why? Not because we “sided with our mother and she turned us against him” but rather because my father chose (and CONTINUES TO CHOOSE) very inappropriate relationships with my mother’s female cousins. These women have literally torn my mother’s family apart, as if the already shameful and unheard of divorce between our parents wasn’t enough. Their presence at the funeral was inappropriate and, ironically, therefore expected. One of the women approached us and tried to make small talk, telling me how pretty I’ve grown (and I wanted to say, “I wish I could say the same about you,” but didn’t) and asking if I still worked at the Getty (to which I responded with a curt “yes” and looked away, disinterested). And she knew my sister had a baby. How on earth would she, my mother’s cast-off first cousin, have known any of this information? I certainly know no one on my mother’s side said anything. It became quite clear that it was my father who is still keeping in contact with them. And obviously on a pretty regular basis, being that my sister had her baby no more than 5 weeks ago. She insisted on revealing that she knew personal information about us, and I wanted to scream in her face, “STEP OFF, BITCH!”
Although we had stopped speaking to our father 10+ years ago, we continued to visit our grandparents for a while after. By that time things were very ugly and my grandfather found out that we, two girls both under 20 years of age, were forsaking his beloved almost-50-year-old son who could do no wrong. So on two separate visits (with a 6-month falling-out period) our grandfather to our faces cursed our mother, saying that she squandered all the money he’d given us over the past decades, that she was a selfish woman, and the divorce was all her fault. We were so angry that we couldn’t even fight back with evidence of my father’s laziness as a husband responsible for maintaining a running household, immaturity as a guiding father figure, multiple infidelities brought into our home (my sister’s room, to be exact), and as a spineless son who was ordered to remarry to save face. In any case, stop using us as pawns in your twisted game! So we stopped visiting them as well, which was unfair to my grandmother (she enabled the behavior but we can’t really blame her for that).
After all the snippets of opinions we were hearing yesterday compounded with the fact that these women actually showed up at the funeral (and one bawled uncontrollably in my father’s arms like his mistress while my stepmom looked on, passively), we saw my father introduce them to old family friends – so my sister and I hightailed it out of there in contempt.
After doing so, I wondered if it was a bad decision. No doubt everyone noticed that we’d left early in a huff without saying goodbye, and thought, “There they go again, still acting out even at the funeral, those are [my mom’s name]’s daughters, how shameful, such poorly raised girls...” And while I can easily say, ‘well f*ck you all, you don’t know half the sh*t that’s going on!’ I also wonder if we just gave them more fuel to add to their already massive fire of misperceptions. What were we supposed to do? Acquiesce to the inappropriate behavior and witness it like we agree and are OK with it? I suppose none of it really matters; there was no changing their minds about us one way or another. We've been tagged for years already.
The offender gets away with it because he’s all smiles and act like nothing’s immoral about anything he does. He’s just an easy-going guy who’s friendly and charming. So when we react by putting on an ugly face and acting bitchy, we turn out to be the villains (aka [my mom’s name]’s daughters), and my father comes out looking like the poor, innocent victim of hot-tempered, ill-mannered, and sacrilegious children raised by the hellish ex-wife. (to which I say, hey, at least SOMEONE raised us...)
This morning, I turned on the TV and Joel Osteen was on. Osteen says that when God causes problems and commotions in our lives and closes doors, we shouldn’t be bitter and think, Oh, just another thing to happen to me... God closes doors whether or not we like it or are ready for it, changing the old and creating the new, and we shouldn’t keep trying to go back to how things used to be. We should look toward this new path and while we can think [fondly] of the old, now it’s time to create new memories and new traditions. Now I’m not an expert in theology by any means, and I admit I haven’t read the Bible all the way through, and I know Joel Osteen is a controversial preacher (or “motivational speaker”), but I like that his messages can be applied to my life and I can use positive ways to go forth. (Whether or not this is blasphemous is not for me to say; I make use of any tools I can get my hands on and try to be my best self.) So perhaps instead of laying in a fetal position in bed all day feeling like a sack of sh*t and wondering why I can’t have the warm and fuzzy relationship I had with my father in my younger years, I should keep this door closed and move forward without the man I thought I wanted to share my new life with. I’m even considering dis-inviting him to my wedding if he can’t comply to my now one-and-only rule: if I were to start sharing my life with him, he must immediately stop disclosing details of MY life and MY information with THEM. (And sadly, as easy and painless as that sounds, I don’t see him giving that up for me.) If that’s the case, I can stop asking “why” and “can’t he just” and “what if”. And especially stop hoping that my dad will start to take us seriously, really HEAR what my sister and I are saying, and choose us instead of his “friends” – perhaps this is a door that is definitely closed, and although I’m saddened by the prospect, it may be for the best for me and my future family.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Goodbye, Ah-Gong
It's been a rough re-entry from our weekend mini-vacation from San Diego. We had a wonderful time exploring the city and having good meals. I ate a whole dungeness crab by myself for lunch (well, Rick helped with 3 legs or so).
First off, let me just say that last night, we got news that my paternal grandfather had passed away on Saturday. He had been quite ill. About a year ago, he had three surgeries in two weeks, which included having a pacemaker put in. After many months in the hospital, he was moved to a nursing home. A few months after that, he was moved back home permanently with a live-in nurse to help out. I visited him at Christmas time and he seemed to be much better than the previous visits, albeit thinner and got tired quicker.
The news came as a bit of a shock, even though he had been very ill. Although, frankly (and with guilt), I had not thought of him for many months. And perhaps that is why the following story is told with such uncertainty.
On Saturday afternoon, Rick and I took a walk along the beach and visited the pier on Shelter Island. There was a small bait and tackle office as well as an "education" room where shells and marine life were displayed. There were a few cases of dried butterflies and insects; they were mostly fantastically colored species that simultaneously caused you to cringe from the gross factor as well as enticed you to come closer for a better look. It was fascinating and horrifying. We walked back to the hotel, and while crossing the parking lot, something dark caught my eye, and I cast my eyes downward. I saw this giant, black, beetle-roach-looking-thing monching on some crap on the ground. "Ewww!!" I cried. And stifled the reflex to stomp on it. Live, and let live, right?
Back in the room, just minutes later, I pulled the bedspread down off the bed to get ready for a nap. I looked over at Rick, who had stopped what he was doing to point at the side of the bed, and said, "LOOK..."! I walked over, looked, and screamed like a bloody monster. Sitting there quietly on the inner part of the bedspread was the same, giant beetle-roach-looking thing that we had just seen outside. It was very big, very black, and very shiny. I panicked and ran around in circles before running to the sink area and getting the hotel's ice bucket. On my way, I shouted over my shoulder to Rick, "Call downstairs!"
Now, up until then, the hotel staff had been more than the usual nice, at least for us. They had greeted us promptly at the front desk, and housekeeping had directed us to the right wing as soon as they saw us looking around the hallway for our room. When Rick called the front desk to alert them to our situation, the man there had said, "What would you like us to do?" and because we've never had to deal with a bug infestation ever in our hotel rooms, Rick didn't know what to say. Umm, come get it?! The man asked if we'd like our sheets changed and we said yes.
We caught the beetle without much incident although when it fell off the covers, I screamed again before Rick somehow managed to corral it into the ice bucket. The room phone rang and it was the front desk man, asking if we'd caught or killed the bug, and that his manager would like to see it, so if we would please hand it to the staff that would be changing our sheets. I think this guy was new or just not particularly experienced as the other staff employees we'd dealt with.
Our sheets were changed by the on-call housekeeping staff. They were friendly, yet because they were simply the ones on-call and not the regular 12pm - 4pm crew that changes the sheets daily, they didn't seem to know what to do. But also because we were just standing there, watching them. Well anyways, I decided that instead of giving our evidence to them that we would take the critter ourselves to the front desk.
As we walked down the stairs with Rick clutching the ice bucket tightly in his hands, I saw that the manager was at the front desk. I somehow easily identified him as the manager because of the tell-tale glasses, moustache, and business clothing instead of the other staff's uniforms. We walked up to the counter, and Rick joked, "It's a fine specimen." Rick and I weren't angry or really taking this whole thing seriously, we were just shocked and creeped out, but we didn't make a scene or throw a fit. We just wanted to let them know and have the situation handled, and we didn't have any demands or motivation to make other guests worry. The manager, on the other hand, was quite inhumorous, which of course, was as he should be. He took the ice bucket, peered in, and said, "OH MY GOD." And apologized profusely and said that his housekeeping staff is usually very thorough. He looked up our room info and comp-ed our night. We thanked him and went back to our room, where we sat quietly and alert for the rest of the evening until dinner time.
The following morning, Sunday, after a wonderful complimentary breakfast buffet downstairs, we went back to our room to pack up to check-out by noon. It was already at least 80 degrees and our room was warming up from the sun streaming through the sliding doors off the balcony. We packed while we watched TV. At 10:30am, while we were both sitting on the bed with stuff laid out but eyes glued to the tv, we both saw something move and together whipped our eyes over to the movement. This time, along the carpet near the sliding door, yet another beetle was taking a stroll across the sunlight.
Rick and I looked at each other and said, "You've got to be kidding me." This time, without any screaming or any shock, I grabbed a small glass cup and Rick scooped it up easily. We sighed and just looked at each other. Should we call downstairs again? Should we let it go? We decided that we might as well take it down and tell them that it had happened again.
The Sunday morning front desk staff consisted of two women who shrieked when they saw the contents of our tissue-covered glass cup. They covered their mouths and opened their eyes wide, and one of them said, "Oh my gosh, I can't look at it, it's so disgusting," and took the cup to the back. She also mentioned that being a resident of San Diego who lives just a few blocks away, she's never seen any bug like this before. When Rick mentioned that this was our second bug, they said, "In the same room? We heard about the one yesterday." Which actually really impressed me, because that just shows how in-tune the management is with their staff. They looked up our room and said that the night manager had indeed comp-ed our room for last night, and we told them we would be checking out in an hour. We left them with good humor, so good and understanding that I started to wonder if they'd think we planted the beetle ourselves just to get a free night.
I should probably describe this beetle to give you a better picture of what we were dealing with. I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately, so I'm going on what I remember of this bug. I spent the morning looking in beetle databases to figure out what the heck we saw. I think all three were the same species, although I can't say for sure.
I narrowed it down to two types, but don't know the exact species. The Carabidae Calasoma genus of Ground Beetles or the Eliode Teenebrionida Darkling Beetle. Here are pictures of each (and yes, it's enough to make you vomit, unless you're totally into insects).
Our beetle was about 1.25 inches in length. Yep, one fat sucker. And when you see this big black thing on super white bed sheets, it really elicits screams of terror.
So last night, when I got the news about the passing of my grandfather, I began to think. After 10 minutes of the usual thoughts and emotions when you hear about a death, a distant memory popped into my head. Years ago, when my mother lost a long-time friend to cancer, before she'd gotten the news of his death, she'd been "harrassed" by a fly. It was in her home, in her car, at her parents' house. I'll have to get the details from her about the fly, but I distinctly remember her telling us that she believed the fly was her friend, coming by to tell her goodbye. And after the fly finally went away, she heard that her friend had died.
I don't know whether or not this beetle was my grandfather coming by to say goodbye. Or if he wanted something of me, or wanted to tell me something, or if he was approving or disapproving of anything. I mean, do spirits come to you in disgusting insect forms? Does it mean anything if the visitor is a cute ladybug, a buzzing wasp, or a beetle?
Analyzing the facts, I do choose to believe that the beetle was my grandfather. The situation is just too bizarre to be thought out rationally. We tore that room apart, looking for holes and crevices that perhaps the beetle had come out from. Nothing. The fact that no one else in the hotel complained about a beetle sighting in their room. The fact that no staff member had ever seen this type of insect in their area before. The fact that our room was on the second floor, away from any shrubs or gardens, and that if this beetle was a Ground Beetle that has no wings and is nocturnal, that we shouldn't have seen it on the second floor walking about and active during the daytime. The fact that we had seen the beetle three times. Possibly even in the cases on the pier, too, but I didn't pay that much attention to the details. Common bugs all look the same if you're not a bug-ologist or even remotely interested in these creatures.
So today, I'm still wondering what it is I'm supposed to do. I don't know if the beetle species itself is important. I don't know if it was just a bug big enough for us to see and not smoosh. I don't know how I'm supposed to interpret any of this information. I don't know if the appearance of the beetle is a good sign or a bad sign. But I do know that I want to say goodbye to my grandfather, whom I call Ah-Gong. And if he can forgive me for my indiscretions, I would be very humble. I apologize for not visiting more often during his older years, and have no excuses. Goodbye, Ah-Gong.
First off, let me just say that last night, we got news that my paternal grandfather had passed away on Saturday. He had been quite ill. About a year ago, he had three surgeries in two weeks, which included having a pacemaker put in. After many months in the hospital, he was moved to a nursing home. A few months after that, he was moved back home permanently with a live-in nurse to help out. I visited him at Christmas time and he seemed to be much better than the previous visits, albeit thinner and got tired quicker.
The news came as a bit of a shock, even though he had been very ill. Although, frankly (and with guilt), I had not thought of him for many months. And perhaps that is why the following story is told with such uncertainty.
On Saturday afternoon, Rick and I took a walk along the beach and visited the pier on Shelter Island. There was a small bait and tackle office as well as an "education" room where shells and marine life were displayed. There were a few cases of dried butterflies and insects; they were mostly fantastically colored species that simultaneously caused you to cringe from the gross factor as well as enticed you to come closer for a better look. It was fascinating and horrifying. We walked back to the hotel, and while crossing the parking lot, something dark caught my eye, and I cast my eyes downward. I saw this giant, black, beetle-roach-looking-thing monching on some crap on the ground. "Ewww!!" I cried. And stifled the reflex to stomp on it. Live, and let live, right?
Back in the room, just minutes later, I pulled the bedspread down off the bed to get ready for a nap. I looked over at Rick, who had stopped what he was doing to point at the side of the bed, and said, "LOOK..."! I walked over, looked, and screamed like a bloody monster. Sitting there quietly on the inner part of the bedspread was the same, giant beetle-roach-looking thing that we had just seen outside. It was very big, very black, and very shiny. I panicked and ran around in circles before running to the sink area and getting the hotel's ice bucket. On my way, I shouted over my shoulder to Rick, "Call downstairs!"
Now, up until then, the hotel staff had been more than the usual nice, at least for us. They had greeted us promptly at the front desk, and housekeeping had directed us to the right wing as soon as they saw us looking around the hallway for our room. When Rick called the front desk to alert them to our situation, the man there had said, "What would you like us to do?" and because we've never had to deal with a bug infestation ever in our hotel rooms, Rick didn't know what to say. Umm, come get it?! The man asked if we'd like our sheets changed and we said yes.
We caught the beetle without much incident although when it fell off the covers, I screamed again before Rick somehow managed to corral it into the ice bucket. The room phone rang and it was the front desk man, asking if we'd caught or killed the bug, and that his manager would like to see it, so if we would please hand it to the staff that would be changing our sheets. I think this guy was new or just not particularly experienced as the other staff employees we'd dealt with.
Our sheets were changed by the on-call housekeeping staff. They were friendly, yet because they were simply the ones on-call and not the regular 12pm - 4pm crew that changes the sheets daily, they didn't seem to know what to do. But also because we were just standing there, watching them. Well anyways, I decided that instead of giving our evidence to them that we would take the critter ourselves to the front desk.
As we walked down the stairs with Rick clutching the ice bucket tightly in his hands, I saw that the manager was at the front desk. I somehow easily identified him as the manager because of the tell-tale glasses, moustache, and business clothing instead of the other staff's uniforms. We walked up to the counter, and Rick joked, "It's a fine specimen." Rick and I weren't angry or really taking this whole thing seriously, we were just shocked and creeped out, but we didn't make a scene or throw a fit. We just wanted to let them know and have the situation handled, and we didn't have any demands or motivation to make other guests worry. The manager, on the other hand, was quite inhumorous, which of course, was as he should be. He took the ice bucket, peered in, and said, "OH MY GOD." And apologized profusely and said that his housekeeping staff is usually very thorough. He looked up our room info and comp-ed our night. We thanked him and went back to our room, where we sat quietly and alert for the rest of the evening until dinner time.
The following morning, Sunday, after a wonderful complimentary breakfast buffet downstairs, we went back to our room to pack up to check-out by noon. It was already at least 80 degrees and our room was warming up from the sun streaming through the sliding doors off the balcony. We packed while we watched TV. At 10:30am, while we were both sitting on the bed with stuff laid out but eyes glued to the tv, we both saw something move and together whipped our eyes over to the movement. This time, along the carpet near the sliding door, yet another beetle was taking a stroll across the sunlight.
Rick and I looked at each other and said, "You've got to be kidding me." This time, without any screaming or any shock, I grabbed a small glass cup and Rick scooped it up easily. We sighed and just looked at each other. Should we call downstairs again? Should we let it go? We decided that we might as well take it down and tell them that it had happened again.
The Sunday morning front desk staff consisted of two women who shrieked when they saw the contents of our tissue-covered glass cup. They covered their mouths and opened their eyes wide, and one of them said, "Oh my gosh, I can't look at it, it's so disgusting," and took the cup to the back. She also mentioned that being a resident of San Diego who lives just a few blocks away, she's never seen any bug like this before. When Rick mentioned that this was our second bug, they said, "In the same room? We heard about the one yesterday." Which actually really impressed me, because that just shows how in-tune the management is with their staff. They looked up our room and said that the night manager had indeed comp-ed our room for last night, and we told them we would be checking out in an hour. We left them with good humor, so good and understanding that I started to wonder if they'd think we planted the beetle ourselves just to get a free night.
I should probably describe this beetle to give you a better picture of what we were dealing with. I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately, so I'm going on what I remember of this bug. I spent the morning looking in beetle databases to figure out what the heck we saw. I think all three were the same species, although I can't say for sure.
I narrowed it down to two types, but don't know the exact species. The Carabidae Calasoma genus of Ground Beetles or the Eliode Teenebrionida Darkling Beetle. Here are pictures of each (and yes, it's enough to make you vomit, unless you're totally into insects).
Our beetle was about 1.25 inches in length. Yep, one fat sucker. And when you see this big black thing on super white bed sheets, it really elicits screams of terror.
So last night, when I got the news about the passing of my grandfather, I began to think. After 10 minutes of the usual thoughts and emotions when you hear about a death, a distant memory popped into my head. Years ago, when my mother lost a long-time friend to cancer, before she'd gotten the news of his death, she'd been "harrassed" by a fly. It was in her home, in her car, at her parents' house. I'll have to get the details from her about the fly, but I distinctly remember her telling us that she believed the fly was her friend, coming by to tell her goodbye. And after the fly finally went away, she heard that her friend had died.
I don't know whether or not this beetle was my grandfather coming by to say goodbye. Or if he wanted something of me, or wanted to tell me something, or if he was approving or disapproving of anything. I mean, do spirits come to you in disgusting insect forms? Does it mean anything if the visitor is a cute ladybug, a buzzing wasp, or a beetle?
Analyzing the facts, I do choose to believe that the beetle was my grandfather. The situation is just too bizarre to be thought out rationally. We tore that room apart, looking for holes and crevices that perhaps the beetle had come out from. Nothing. The fact that no one else in the hotel complained about a beetle sighting in their room. The fact that no staff member had ever seen this type of insect in their area before. The fact that our room was on the second floor, away from any shrubs or gardens, and that if this beetle was a Ground Beetle that has no wings and is nocturnal, that we shouldn't have seen it on the second floor walking about and active during the daytime. The fact that we had seen the beetle three times. Possibly even in the cases on the pier, too, but I didn't pay that much attention to the details. Common bugs all look the same if you're not a bug-ologist or even remotely interested in these creatures.
So today, I'm still wondering what it is I'm supposed to do. I don't know if the beetle species itself is important. I don't know if it was just a bug big enough for us to see and not smoosh. I don't know how I'm supposed to interpret any of this information. I don't know if the appearance of the beetle is a good sign or a bad sign. But I do know that I want to say goodbye to my grandfather, whom I call Ah-Gong. And if he can forgive me for my indiscretions, I would be very humble. I apologize for not visiting more often during his older years, and have no excuses. Goodbye, Ah-Gong.
Monday, April 21, 2008
An entry from the Dictionary of Bella Grace
Minnie Bihon - /MIN-nee BEE-hohn/. n. Origins: Philippines and US. Evolution of and pun on Filipino noodle dish, Miki Bihon, and Disney character used to describe a particularly cute baby named Isabella. See fig. 1. Also Monkey Bihon, Monster Bihon, Hungry Bihon, Naughty Bihon. Created by Momma Hsiny, authored and documented by Auntie Mingy.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Is it time yet? Can I send them??
So this past weekend, while out at a birthday party in the scorching heat of April, I found out that one of Rick's aunts reads my blog (hi Auntie Lola!). Now the pressure's on to post good and interesting stuff and not just ramblings of my unkempt mind. Sort of. ;)
My envelopes and embosser arrived today! I was so excited that I ripped the boxes open and started punching away and assembling. I've only made about 20 STDs, and half of them (the first half) I decided are substandard compared to the rest. So I don't think I'll be sending them out. Too bad. Such a waste of good paper. They're off center and the punched holes are too close. Anyone will tell me they're fine and to send them out anyway. So maybe I will. To those who might not notice. ;)
The embosser is my new favorite toy. Because it's customized, the envelopes look like we've had them professionally printed. Now if I could just master my handwriting skills... I've already addressed a few of the envelopes in a very fine point brown pen (this includes you, Auntie Lola). To those people, I apologize for my awful penmanship. As for the rest of them lucky ones, they'll be getting clear, computer-labeled envelopes. :) Then they'll really look professional. AHAHA!
The envelopes aren't as good as I had hoped, but they'll do. The color is pretty close to the right shade of sage, and when you order this kind of stuff online, it's hit or miss with the quality and color you expect.
I'll be sending out the STDs soon enough. I realize (again) that we're not even 365 days and counting yet - no need to rush the STDs. I hope to patiently hang on to them until July or August. *sigh* But it will give me some more time to hum and haw over whether or not to send out the slightly retarded STDs that people will just throw away anyways.
List of reminders for this month:
April 19 - Kathleen's bday party
April 25 - 27 - San Diego! Every year, Rick and I plan a mini-vacation the last week of April; a weekend getaway to celebrate our anniversary (April 30). And this year, it's a very special weekend because our wedding date will be exactly one year from then. :) Kind of a pre-wedding anniversary / last trip of our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. And it's all coincidental because we booked our trip before we booked our wedding date.
There should be more reminders. But I can't remember them. Darn.
Gotta finish my homework before we go down to SD. Which means I should finish week 2 early this week and start on week 3 by Saturday.
Pictures of Isabella to come soon. Actually, I can post this one that I really like. This was taken just a few hours after she was born. Of course, she's already grown a foot and a couple of pounds, but she still kind of looks the same. ;)
I'll post a REALLY cute picture of her as soon as I get my brother in law to send it to me. It's totally frickin hilarious!
My envelopes and embosser arrived today! I was so excited that I ripped the boxes open and started punching away and assembling. I've only made about 20 STDs, and half of them (the first half) I decided are substandard compared to the rest. So I don't think I'll be sending them out. Too bad. Such a waste of good paper. They're off center and the punched holes are too close. Anyone will tell me they're fine and to send them out anyway. So maybe I will. To those who might not notice. ;)
The embosser is my new favorite toy. Because it's customized, the envelopes look like we've had them professionally printed. Now if I could just master my handwriting skills... I've already addressed a few of the envelopes in a very fine point brown pen (this includes you, Auntie Lola). To those people, I apologize for my awful penmanship. As for the rest of them lucky ones, they'll be getting clear, computer-labeled envelopes. :) Then they'll really look professional. AHAHA!
The envelopes aren't as good as I had hoped, but they'll do. The color is pretty close to the right shade of sage, and when you order this kind of stuff online, it's hit or miss with the quality and color you expect.
I'll be sending out the STDs soon enough. I realize (again) that we're not even 365 days and counting yet - no need to rush the STDs. I hope to patiently hang on to them until July or August. *sigh* But it will give me some more time to hum and haw over whether or not to send out the slightly retarded STDs that people will just throw away anyways.
List of reminders for this month:
April 19 - Kathleen's bday party
April 25 - 27 - San Diego! Every year, Rick and I plan a mini-vacation the last week of April; a weekend getaway to celebrate our anniversary (April 30). And this year, it's a very special weekend because our wedding date will be exactly one year from then. :) Kind of a pre-wedding anniversary / last trip of our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. And it's all coincidental because we booked our trip before we booked our wedding date.
There should be more reminders. But I can't remember them. Darn.
Gotta finish my homework before we go down to SD. Which means I should finish week 2 early this week and start on week 3 by Saturday.
Pictures of Isabella to come soon. Actually, I can post this one that I really like. This was taken just a few hours after she was born. Of course, she's already grown a foot and a couple of pounds, but she still kind of looks the same. ;)
I'll post a REALLY cute picture of her as soon as I get my brother in law to send it to me. It's totally frickin hilarious!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
STD time...
No, I don't mean it's time to visit the doctor. It's time to post about Save The Date cards!!!! In wedding lingo, they're called STDs.
It's about time that I post some pictures about my crafting. I've made a couple of grocery totes, but no posts or pictures. So now that I'm on to paper crafting and will take a long time doing each set, here's the first of many wedding-related posts to come.
So I've had a lot of ideas on how to make my STDs. With all the DIY sites and projects as well as commercially printed ones, I ended up with something quite classic. And easy to do. I went through a bunch of ideas and formats, and although the ones I ended up making weren't my finalized ideals, they're much simpler and easier to make.
Here we go. My pictures aren't that great...
In progress...
My STDs consisted of a brown textured cardstock layer, then a printed sage green floral scrapbook page layer, then a printed layer of vellum, all tied together with a brown bow. Oh, and I attached a magnet on the back. :)
Here's what it looks like underneath:
I originally used tracing paper, which printed beautifully, but after cutting it down to size, about 4" x 6", the paper curled up at the edges so I had to go buy a pack of vellum instead. I wanted to create the look of the vellum without using vellum because it's so much pricier. My book of Strathmore tracing paper was less than $4. The pack of vellum for 50 sheets was $17.
And the final thing (with the vellum turned slightly because of how it's placed):
Materials:
Strathmore textured brown 80lb. cover, 19 x 25 (cut 5 x 7 pieces)
Anna Griffin sage floral scrapbook paper 12 x 12 (cut 4 x 6 pieces)
Translucent vellum by WorldWin, inkjet printable 8.5 x 11 (print in 4 quarters)
Brown satin ribbon
Magnet strip (4 foot roll)
Cost per STD:
Brown paper $0.12
Sage floral paper $0.042
Vellum: $0.085
Brown ribbon: $0.01
Magnet: $0.11
Sage green envelope with felt finish, 70lb weight (coming in the mail from Envelope Mall) @ $12.95 per 100 = $0.129
So grand total cost for one STD: $0.496, which rounded up, is 50 CENTS!!!
I paid retail for the brown textured cardstock, the vellum, and the magnets. But the floral paper and brown ribbon were on sale at Michael's (you know, those 4 for $1 type sales!). The green envelopes were the most expensive because of the heavy felt finish, but also because they're size A7 (5 x 7) and no office supply store carries these special sizes.
It still takes me a while to create each STD because I'm just picky and meticulous about the sizes being just right, and making sure I cut straight with the rotary wheel and paper cutter is tedious and time consuming. But I have so much time, I'm relishing making each one perfect!!!!
It's about time that I post some pictures about my crafting. I've made a couple of grocery totes, but no posts or pictures. So now that I'm on to paper crafting and will take a long time doing each set, here's the first of many wedding-related posts to come.
So I've had a lot of ideas on how to make my STDs. With all the DIY sites and projects as well as commercially printed ones, I ended up with something quite classic. And easy to do. I went through a bunch of ideas and formats, and although the ones I ended up making weren't my finalized ideals, they're much simpler and easier to make.
Here we go. My pictures aren't that great...
In progress...
My STDs consisted of a brown textured cardstock layer, then a printed sage green floral scrapbook page layer, then a printed layer of vellum, all tied together with a brown bow. Oh, and I attached a magnet on the back. :)
Here's what it looks like underneath:
I originally used tracing paper, which printed beautifully, but after cutting it down to size, about 4" x 6", the paper curled up at the edges so I had to go buy a pack of vellum instead. I wanted to create the look of the vellum without using vellum because it's so much pricier. My book of Strathmore tracing paper was less than $4. The pack of vellum for 50 sheets was $17.
And the final thing (with the vellum turned slightly because of how it's placed):
Materials:
Strathmore textured brown 80lb. cover, 19 x 25 (cut 5 x 7 pieces)
Anna Griffin sage floral scrapbook paper 12 x 12 (cut 4 x 6 pieces)
Translucent vellum by WorldWin, inkjet printable 8.5 x 11 (print in 4 quarters)
Brown satin ribbon
Magnet strip (4 foot roll)
Cost per STD:
Brown paper $0.12
Sage floral paper $0.042
Vellum: $0.085
Brown ribbon: $0.01
Magnet: $0.11
Sage green envelope with felt finish, 70lb weight (coming in the mail from Envelope Mall) @ $12.95 per 100 = $0.129
So grand total cost for one STD: $0.496, which rounded up, is 50 CENTS!!!
I paid retail for the brown textured cardstock, the vellum, and the magnets. But the floral paper and brown ribbon were on sale at Michael's (you know, those 4 for $1 type sales!). The green envelopes were the most expensive because of the heavy felt finish, but also because they're size A7 (5 x 7) and no office supply store carries these special sizes.
It still takes me a while to create each STD because I'm just picky and meticulous about the sizes being just right, and making sure I cut straight with the rotary wheel and paper cutter is tedious and time consuming. But I have so much time, I'm relishing making each one perfect!!!!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Truly Grateful
Sometimes it takes a miracle for me to realize how blessed I am. And that miracle this time was the birth of my baby niece, Isabella Grace. I don't mean miracle in that she-was-never-supposed-to-live sort of way, I mean a simple, ordinary miracle of life itself.
I'll recount the events as they unfolded yesterday:
5:50am - I get a call from my brother-in-law. They're back in the hospital (after being there the morning prior, they were sent home until my sister was "ready" to go back). I pseudo jump up and ask if she's in full labor and he says no, it's still going to be a long while. I slump back down into the bed and think about getting up.
7:00am - I finally get out of bed and gather up my gear for the day. Rick and I have an initial appointment with the priest of the church we'd like to have our wedding at at 11:00am. I don't think we'll make it since we're planning on being in the hospital all day, but just in case, I put on makeup and a nicer pair of jeans. I'm selfishly disappointed, but shake it off and say that we can meet with the priest another day and if the sites get booked, then it wasn't meant to be.
9:00am - We arrive at the hospital and my sister's stomach is enormous. She must have grown another few inches the last two weeks! She's exhausted, having not slept more than an hour in the past 48 hours due to contractions and pain. She'd just gotten her epidural when we arrived, so was slightly subdued and apparently much calmer than the previous hours. ;) But she's lost a couple centimeters in terms of "readiness".
9:20am - My sister reminds us to go feed her bird and asks that we bring her pillow back. The hospital pillows are flat and she wants her own. She tells us that it's still going to be a long while and tells us to keep our appointment with the priest. We leave to go feed her bird, get her pillow, and while we're there notice that the a/c vent in the baby's room has partially fallen down. I'm not sure if this was intentional for any reason (you'd have to know my brother-in-law) so I call and he has no idea what we're talking about. At the slightest touch, the vent completely comes out of the ceiling and the paint/drywall falls all over the crib. AACK! We tear up the house looking for tape or nails or screws. We find pushpins in the office and a plastic bag, and secure that sucker over the vent.
10:15am - We head out to the church and get there 15 minutes early. A quinceanera celebration just let out and the girl was so cute in her white ballgown. These things always seem like someone really young is getting married. Although the "bridesmaids" or attendants or whatever really could have used more appropriate hem lengths and heel heights, in MY opinion. You're in a church!
11:00 - We sit down with Father Dennis and have a chat. A lot of what went on in that office is very personal so I won't mention any details. I think I've been missing the church a lot and let down my walls as soon as I stepped into his office. It was as if I'd been waiting interminable years for a safe haven to share my thoughts and feelings. Let's just say that we "passed" with flying colors and the priest happily agreed to marry us. Unfortunately, the afternoon wedding times were all taken up, not just for OUR proposed date, but for ALL Saturdays before and after ours! ALL of them were already booked! I couldn't believe it. So we ended up choosing a noon ceremony time.
11:30 - Back in the car, I feel very loved and slightly embarrassed. We call the reception site to see if we could go down and finally put our deposit down since we got our date at the church, and we were closer by. I make a point to say, "We want to put our DEPOSIT down TODAY." The director says her next available appointment is 4:00. I *sigh* but agree, thinking I'd be back in the hospital and then have to drive back out there. I figure I can cancel later if necessary.
11:35 - In our haste to get to the church on time (haha) I left my sister's pillow on the couch. So we head back to her house instead of the hospital. The director at the reception site calls and says she's had a cancellation and she can see us at 3:00. I agree without thinking about it, but then wonder if the later time would be better if my sister has her baby soon.
12:00 - We get the pillow, grab a bite to eat, and head back to the hospital.
12:15 - My sister is really uncomfortable now, and when the nurse comes to check her we leave the room and wait to be let back in. There are no other visitors around, and many of the rooms are empty. While loitering in the hallway for just 30 seconds with Rick and my brother-in-law, another nurse comes by and asks us if she can help us. I gesture to the closed door and just mumble something about waiting. And she says shortly, "You need to wait in the waiting room" and walks away. And I roll my eyes, but think, My sister is allowed 5 people in the room with her and we've just stepped outside because she's getting her hoo-ha checked, and then we'll go back in and WAIT. OK?!" My brother-in-law laughs, and says we might as well wait in the waiting room then. So we head over. Moments later, my brother-in-law chases us down and says that his wife has asked us to go, and that he'll call me when the baby's here. He acts like he feels bad about asking us to leave, so I fake pout, the boys laugh, and Rick and I head out.
1:00 - We sit in the car and wonder what to do for two hours until our appointment. We're tired too from all the driving. I rack my brain and think about what's along the way. We've already driven more than 100 miles. [For those of you LA-ites, we live in Burbank, the hospital is in Baldwin Park, my sister's house is in Glendora, the church is in Diamond Bar, and the reception site is in Corona. Yep. Practically three different counties, and we're doing this diagonal zigzag driving pattern.] We decide to go to the Brea mall.
1:30 - We arrive at the mall and just take a stroll. There are lots of people at the mall and lots of sales. The only thing we buy is a fishing video game. :)
2:15 - We head out to the reception site and get there 15 minutes early. We poke our heads in the office to see if she's with other clients, but the ladies in there are just at their computers. So we settle in, discuss our package, Rick makes some big decisions for us, I write the giant check that is our deposit, and she takes out this giant box. Inside the box is a binder. Inside the binder are tabbed sections of everything I want or need to know about everything that comes in our package. I'm so ecstatic because I'd been asking random, detailed questions over email and getting half and unclear answers.
3:30 - While going over the details in the binder, my phone rings. Loudly. I apologize, but answer the phone - it's my brother-in-law. I say, HELLO? And he says, "When can you come back here?" in a new-father tone that only a new father has. And I laugh and share the excitement with Rick and the girls in the office.
3:40 - We rush out of there and head back to the hospital. We decide to take a different, straighter way back to the hospital, which also passes by the church. It's a great route and there are new shopping complexes on the highway - perfect for our guests to waste time between our events.
4:15 - Isabella Grace is so pretty! She's 6 lbs. 13 ounces, 21 inches of pure delight. 10 fingers, 10 toes. LOTS of hair!! I get to hold her first and she opens her eyes and looks at me and yawns. It's precious. She has the softest skin and is perfect. My mom arrives and oohs and aahs over her first granddaughter and we all take pictures. We debate about whose nose she has.
The next few hours were a blur. We left the hospital because my sister needed to breastfeed and she was exhausted and starting to get snappy. Rick and I headed back (again) to her house, packed up her bird and his accessories, stopped in San Marino for Italian fast-food to-go and a quick chat with friends, and finally got home to eat and have the bird settled in.
I climbed in the shower at 8:00pm and cried. Bawled like a baby. But for the first time in my life, this sudden outburst was not sad tears, but tears that were so happy and so grateful that my cup literally runneth over. You ever see those televised chuch gospel things where they show some lady singing with her hands raised in the air, and tears are streaming down her face as she shouts the hymn? And you wonder, what in the heck is going on? Why is she sad??? Now I get it. It's not sadness, it's an emotion so profound and so overwhelming that the only way to really soak it all in is to let it all out.
The way the whole day unfolded was a miracle, like God had planned this whole day filled with excitement and anticipation. After weeks of frustration and waiting for appointments with the church and site, and anxiety for the baby, never did I imagine that we would get both our church and reception site booked let alone a brand new life introduced to the world all on the same day. And we didn't miss anything. I am so grateful for everything and everyone I have. It definitely was a day of vulnerability for me, and Rick was by my side the whole way.
I'll recount the events as they unfolded yesterday:
5:50am - I get a call from my brother-in-law. They're back in the hospital (after being there the morning prior, they were sent home until my sister was "ready" to go back). I pseudo jump up and ask if she's in full labor and he says no, it's still going to be a long while. I slump back down into the bed and think about getting up.
7:00am - I finally get out of bed and gather up my gear for the day. Rick and I have an initial appointment with the priest of the church we'd like to have our wedding at at 11:00am. I don't think we'll make it since we're planning on being in the hospital all day, but just in case, I put on makeup and a nicer pair of jeans. I'm selfishly disappointed, but shake it off and say that we can meet with the priest another day and if the sites get booked, then it wasn't meant to be.
9:00am - We arrive at the hospital and my sister's stomach is enormous. She must have grown another few inches the last two weeks! She's exhausted, having not slept more than an hour in the past 48 hours due to contractions and pain. She'd just gotten her epidural when we arrived, so was slightly subdued and apparently much calmer than the previous hours. ;) But she's lost a couple centimeters in terms of "readiness".
9:20am - My sister reminds us to go feed her bird and asks that we bring her pillow back. The hospital pillows are flat and she wants her own. She tells us that it's still going to be a long while and tells us to keep our appointment with the priest. We leave to go feed her bird, get her pillow, and while we're there notice that the a/c vent in the baby's room has partially fallen down. I'm not sure if this was intentional for any reason (you'd have to know my brother-in-law) so I call and he has no idea what we're talking about. At the slightest touch, the vent completely comes out of the ceiling and the paint/drywall falls all over the crib. AACK! We tear up the house looking for tape or nails or screws. We find pushpins in the office and a plastic bag, and secure that sucker over the vent.
10:15am - We head out to the church and get there 15 minutes early. A quinceanera celebration just let out and the girl was so cute in her white ballgown. These things always seem like someone really young is getting married. Although the "bridesmaids" or attendants or whatever really could have used more appropriate hem lengths and heel heights, in MY opinion. You're in a church!
11:00 - We sit down with Father Dennis and have a chat. A lot of what went on in that office is very personal so I won't mention any details. I think I've been missing the church a lot and let down my walls as soon as I stepped into his office. It was as if I'd been waiting interminable years for a safe haven to share my thoughts and feelings. Let's just say that we "passed" with flying colors and the priest happily agreed to marry us. Unfortunately, the afternoon wedding times were all taken up, not just for OUR proposed date, but for ALL Saturdays before and after ours! ALL of them were already booked! I couldn't believe it. So we ended up choosing a noon ceremony time.
11:30 - Back in the car, I feel very loved and slightly embarrassed. We call the reception site to see if we could go down and finally put our deposit down since we got our date at the church, and we were closer by. I make a point to say, "We want to put our DEPOSIT down TODAY." The director says her next available appointment is 4:00. I *sigh* but agree, thinking I'd be back in the hospital and then have to drive back out there. I figure I can cancel later if necessary.
11:35 - In our haste to get to the church on time (haha) I left my sister's pillow on the couch. So we head back to her house instead of the hospital. The director at the reception site calls and says she's had a cancellation and she can see us at 3:00. I agree without thinking about it, but then wonder if the later time would be better if my sister has her baby soon.
12:00 - We get the pillow, grab a bite to eat, and head back to the hospital.
12:15 - My sister is really uncomfortable now, and when the nurse comes to check her we leave the room and wait to be let back in. There are no other visitors around, and many of the rooms are empty. While loitering in the hallway for just 30 seconds with Rick and my brother-in-law, another nurse comes by and asks us if she can help us. I gesture to the closed door and just mumble something about waiting. And she says shortly, "You need to wait in the waiting room" and walks away. And I roll my eyes, but think, My sister is allowed 5 people in the room with her and we've just stepped outside because she's getting her hoo-ha checked, and then we'll go back in and WAIT. OK?!" My brother-in-law laughs, and says we might as well wait in the waiting room then. So we head over. Moments later, my brother-in-law chases us down and says that his wife has asked us to go, and that he'll call me when the baby's here. He acts like he feels bad about asking us to leave, so I fake pout, the boys laugh, and Rick and I head out.
1:00 - We sit in the car and wonder what to do for two hours until our appointment. We're tired too from all the driving. I rack my brain and think about what's along the way. We've already driven more than 100 miles. [For those of you LA-ites, we live in Burbank, the hospital is in Baldwin Park, my sister's house is in Glendora, the church is in Diamond Bar, and the reception site is in Corona. Yep. Practically three different counties, and we're doing this diagonal zigzag driving pattern.] We decide to go to the Brea mall.
1:30 - We arrive at the mall and just take a stroll. There are lots of people at the mall and lots of sales. The only thing we buy is a fishing video game. :)
2:15 - We head out to the reception site and get there 15 minutes early. We poke our heads in the office to see if she's with other clients, but the ladies in there are just at their computers. So we settle in, discuss our package, Rick makes some big decisions for us, I write the giant check that is our deposit, and she takes out this giant box. Inside the box is a binder. Inside the binder are tabbed sections of everything I want or need to know about everything that comes in our package. I'm so ecstatic because I'd been asking random, detailed questions over email and getting half and unclear answers.
3:30 - While going over the details in the binder, my phone rings. Loudly. I apologize, but answer the phone - it's my brother-in-law. I say, HELLO? And he says, "When can you come back here?" in a new-father tone that only a new father has. And I laugh and share the excitement with Rick and the girls in the office.
3:40 - We rush out of there and head back to the hospital. We decide to take a different, straighter way back to the hospital, which also passes by the church. It's a great route and there are new shopping complexes on the highway - perfect for our guests to waste time between our events.
4:15 - Isabella Grace is so pretty! She's 6 lbs. 13 ounces, 21 inches of pure delight. 10 fingers, 10 toes. LOTS of hair!! I get to hold her first and she opens her eyes and looks at me and yawns. It's precious. She has the softest skin and is perfect. My mom arrives and oohs and aahs over her first granddaughter and we all take pictures. We debate about whose nose she has.
The next few hours were a blur. We left the hospital because my sister needed to breastfeed and she was exhausted and starting to get snappy. Rick and I headed back (again) to her house, packed up her bird and his accessories, stopped in San Marino for Italian fast-food to-go and a quick chat with friends, and finally got home to eat and have the bird settled in.
I climbed in the shower at 8:00pm and cried. Bawled like a baby. But for the first time in my life, this sudden outburst was not sad tears, but tears that were so happy and so grateful that my cup literally runneth over. You ever see those televised chuch gospel things where they show some lady singing with her hands raised in the air, and tears are streaming down her face as she shouts the hymn? And you wonder, what in the heck is going on? Why is she sad??? Now I get it. It's not sadness, it's an emotion so profound and so overwhelming that the only way to really soak it all in is to let it all out.
The way the whole day unfolded was a miracle, like God had planned this whole day filled with excitement and anticipation. After weeks of frustration and waiting for appointments with the church and site, and anxiety for the baby, never did I imagine that we would get both our church and reception site booked let alone a brand new life introduced to the world all on the same day. And we didn't miss anything. I am so grateful for everything and everyone I have. It definitely was a day of vulnerability for me, and Rick was by my side the whole way.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Back to the Grind... for Two Weeks
No doubt you may have noticed my wedding links have tripled over the past few weeks. At least I have. 'Cause really, who's reading this stuff besides me? I'm really just using this blog to log reminders to myself. Not as adventurous as my title claims.
Anyways, it's been almost a whole month since my last post. Really a whole month? Yep. I was busy with the last few weeks of school (SPRING BREAK! WHOO HOO! *rips bikini top off*) and then was in San Diego for a few days for the VRA conference.
Better write down my list before proceeding; otherwise I'll forget:
March 23 - Easter. We should probably go to church... Also one of my mother's birthdays... and someone else's birthday too. I know many people who have their birthdays at the end of March, all one day after the next. Can't keep up with all these Pisces-Aries kids...
March 28 - My sister's due date. If she doesn't go into labor, they will induce on the 30th.
March 31 - Begin Spring quarter: the second reference course. I have two weeks of "normal" life before I have to get back to my alternate life of schoolwork and not doing any housework or cooking. I suppose this next course is "advanced" reference... I hope it won't be too hard and that I won't have to write papers. I got lucky with the first quarter.
April 19 - Kathleen's 40th birthday party! I think they're hiring salsa dance instructors and we're having a real dance party. But she just found out that she's pregnant too, so the party will probably be a little bit more on the cautious side. They're handling the pregnancy very carefully this time around. If all goes well, that means I'll have two mamas with babies in my wedding party. :)
April 25 - San Diego anniversary trip. And if all goes as planned, this would be a coincidental, pre-wedding-to-the-day anniversary trip.
So last night as I was just about to drift off to sleep, I jarred myself awake with a shocking realization. Rick and my family structures are very alike. What I mean is - on his mother's side, he's got three aunts and one uncle. On my mother's side... I've got three aunts and one uncle. It gets crazier. I compared the offspring of each aunt/uncle on our sides respectively. 4 kids, 4 kids... 1 kid, 1 kid... 2 kids, 2 kids.......... there were two families that didn't QUITE match up, but if we bring the 4th generation into this comparison game, THE NUMBERS MATCH. It's crazy. 25 direct descendants of our grandparents on our mothers' sides.
What's more, on our paternal side, Rick's dad has one sibling, MY dad has one sibling. These sibling have 2 kids. EACH!
What does this mean???? It was slightly creepy. Because seriously, what are the odds that something like this happens?? Our maternal grandparents each had five children: 4 girls and one boy. Our paternal grandparents each had two children, and we each have 2 cousins. SERIOUSLY??! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
So I fell asleep thinking about how cool it would be to have these family trees on giant poster boards up for the wedding. I even entertained the idea of doing a whole freakin presentation with powerpoint and laser pointers. ;) So this morning when I got up, I grabbed sheets of paper and made the family trees as similar in format as possible for comparison. It was great. Slightly creepy, but great.
The rest of today was spent throwing stuff out. We purged what felt like 200 lbs of clothes, got rid of our old TV that was sitting in the living room taking up precious space, and cleaned out old stuff that we didn't want anymore. We filled up my whole car with bags of clothes, household items, rugs... and my turtle pillow that my college roommate gave me. (ack, I just realized that it's gone! I kind of want it back... *anxiety attack*) Sadly though, after coming back from our dumping trip at the thrift shop, we looked around and there was still so much clutter. So tomorrow will be another cleaning day for me while Rick is at work.
So anyways, back to the wedding links and their tripled factor. This wedding stuff is SUCH an industry. But it's so nice to find blogs about bargain weddings and DIY stuff so I can get ideas on how to do stuff and find resources like free, already-made templates and REALLY CHEAP paper products. The only problems are that I want to DO IT NOW (and then I'd just sit and stare at them for oh, another YEAR) and the plethora of new ideas that I hadn't even thought of overwhelm me. I like having options, but this is crazy. How many ways and styles can we make our monogram? And what SHADE of brown to choose from their 100+ browns?! Should we get certain monograms for certain purposes? And are we really going to use the monogram with our wedding date on it after our wedding? It's all making my head spin.
I suppose that's why I've added those links. I can refer back to them when the time is right and I don't have to worry about losing a certain idea and having to retain all the information a year in advance. Did I mention that I still have a year to go? Just checking.
Really, the thing we need to do quite immediately before the rest of these details is set the date with our church. I've got a week before I become uber-busy again.
Anyways, it's been almost a whole month since my last post. Really a whole month? Yep. I was busy with the last few weeks of school (SPRING BREAK! WHOO HOO! *rips bikini top off*) and then was in San Diego for a few days for the VRA conference.
Better write down my list before proceeding; otherwise I'll forget:
March 23 - Easter. We should probably go to church... Also one of my mother's birthdays... and someone else's birthday too. I know many people who have their birthdays at the end of March, all one day after the next. Can't keep up with all these Pisces-Aries kids...
March 28 - My sister's due date. If she doesn't go into labor, they will induce on the 30th.
March 31 - Begin Spring quarter: the second reference course. I have two weeks of "normal" life before I have to get back to my alternate life of schoolwork and not doing any housework or cooking. I suppose this next course is "advanced" reference... I hope it won't be too hard and that I won't have to write papers. I got lucky with the first quarter.
April 19 - Kathleen's 40th birthday party! I think they're hiring salsa dance instructors and we're having a real dance party. But she just found out that she's pregnant too, so the party will probably be a little bit more on the cautious side. They're handling the pregnancy very carefully this time around. If all goes well, that means I'll have two mamas with babies in my wedding party. :)
April 25 - San Diego anniversary trip. And if all goes as planned, this would be a coincidental, pre-wedding-to-the-day anniversary trip.
So last night as I was just about to drift off to sleep, I jarred myself awake with a shocking realization. Rick and my family structures are very alike. What I mean is - on his mother's side, he's got three aunts and one uncle. On my mother's side... I've got three aunts and one uncle. It gets crazier. I compared the offspring of each aunt/uncle on our sides respectively. 4 kids, 4 kids... 1 kid, 1 kid... 2 kids, 2 kids.......... there were two families that didn't QUITE match up, but if we bring the 4th generation into this comparison game, THE NUMBERS MATCH. It's crazy. 25 direct descendants of our grandparents on our mothers' sides.
What's more, on our paternal side, Rick's dad has one sibling, MY dad has one sibling. These sibling have 2 kids. EACH!
What does this mean???? It was slightly creepy. Because seriously, what are the odds that something like this happens?? Our maternal grandparents each had five children: 4 girls and one boy. Our paternal grandparents each had two children, and we each have 2 cousins. SERIOUSLY??! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
So I fell asleep thinking about how cool it would be to have these family trees on giant poster boards up for the wedding. I even entertained the idea of doing a whole freakin presentation with powerpoint and laser pointers. ;) So this morning when I got up, I grabbed sheets of paper and made the family trees as similar in format as possible for comparison. It was great. Slightly creepy, but great.
The rest of today was spent throwing stuff out. We purged what felt like 200 lbs of clothes, got rid of our old TV that was sitting in the living room taking up precious space, and cleaned out old stuff that we didn't want anymore. We filled up my whole car with bags of clothes, household items, rugs... and my turtle pillow that my college roommate gave me. (ack, I just realized that it's gone! I kind of want it back... *anxiety attack*) Sadly though, after coming back from our dumping trip at the thrift shop, we looked around and there was still so much clutter. So tomorrow will be another cleaning day for me while Rick is at work.
So anyways, back to the wedding links and their tripled factor. This wedding stuff is SUCH an industry. But it's so nice to find blogs about bargain weddings and DIY stuff so I can get ideas on how to do stuff and find resources like free, already-made templates and REALLY CHEAP paper products. The only problems are that I want to DO IT NOW (and then I'd just sit and stare at them for oh, another YEAR) and the plethora of new ideas that I hadn't even thought of overwhelm me. I like having options, but this is crazy. How many ways and styles can we make our monogram? And what SHADE of brown to choose from their 100+ browns?! Should we get certain monograms for certain purposes? And are we really going to use the monogram with our wedding date on it after our wedding? It's all making my head spin.
I suppose that's why I've added those links. I can refer back to them when the time is right and I don't have to worry about losing a certain idea and having to retain all the information a year in advance. Did I mention that I still have a year to go? Just checking.
Really, the thing we need to do quite immediately before the rest of these details is set the date with our church. I've got a week before I become uber-busy again.
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