Countdown: 38 days

This week, I'm holding it all together. I'm not sure if it's the sickness that's hit me over the head that has made me realize (again) that the wedding will not be perfect and that I can't control everything, so I should just relax and go with the flow. That, and/or the fact that we've gotten lots of things crossed of the list, so I can relax just a bit. Here's what's left of last time's list:

DONE * details appointment
DONE * engagement photo shoot (they came out awesome!)
* finish Snoopy's tux
DONE* buy rhinestone pins for bouquets
* wash scoops and tongs, tie ribbons
* IKEA for tea lights and candleholders
DONE * order gift cards for bridesmaids
* NASCAR cars (Target)
DONE * baptismal certificate
DONE * marriage license (that's a whole 'nother dramatic story)
CROSS OFF * embroider hankies for bridesmaid bouquets
* order candy and arrange for pickup
* fill restrooms baskets (trip to Walmart)
* kids' packs (Walmart, Michaels, OTC...)
* buy flower girl's dress and Bella's dress
* find picture of me and mom, rick and his family
* scan/color copies of photos for photo montage. make photo montage!
DONE * order personalized informals, buy generic Thank You cards for use until then
PSEUDO DONE * reserve rooms for attendants
* not to mention all the paper details: programs, escort cards, menu cards, signs, instructions, etc.

And to add to the list:
* finalize music for ceremony (gotta call Patrick! GUH!)
* confirm and finalize reception centerpieces and payment (gotta call Sheri! GUH!)
* order more cardstock for the programs
* consultation with the DJ
* buy letter charms for the bouquets
* buy veil

Today I'm going in for my trial hair and makeup. Was supposed to do it last Tuesday but I was sick as a dog and wasn't feeling the least bit sexy or pretty. So now that I'm on antibiotics and can kind of function now that the bugs are being killed off along with everything else in my body, I can continue on the daily track of getting things done. Or just thought about. Heee.

This morning Ricklet and I were discussing certain wedding things, and he kept saying, "Stop worrying about that." I said, "I'm not worrying, I'm just talking about it. Because it needs to be decided upon and then carried out. Someone's gotta think about it, make the decision and then follow through so that it does get done. Who's worrying? Not me." But of course, the Ricklet says, "but when you go into so much extremes and details you sound like you're stressing about it." It's been so long that I've been planning the wedding (planning, by the way, means thinking and weighing options and deciding, not just the actual physical courses of action) that I don't even know what it means to BE stressed. Every day is like this, I sleep and breathe thoughts about silk flowers and paper and when to start making things, think about reminding myself to buy this or that, or call so-and-so by this date... all these very minor little things add up so it's one big great stressball.

Just you wait, I'll one day soon blow up and cry about a misplaced scoop for the candy buffet. Just you wait and see.